The Scrubs Still Fit, But the Weight Feels Different
By Bobbie Smith, MSN, RN, NEA-BC, ANLC-P, Synova Associates Clinical Advisor
There’s a quiet but noticeable shift that happens when I trade my professional attire for my scrubs.
One day last week, my team was struggling. It was late at night and I was cleaning the kitchen while talking to my assistant nurse manager on the phone; I could feel it in her voice that my team was having a hard night. I had already traded my work clothes for my comfy clothes, so instead of getting into bed, I pulled out my scrubs. Even though it was late, my spouse understood, “Go be a nurse. When you put on scrubs, you’re reminded of why you love nursing.”
The scrubs are more me. I love wearing them and would put them on every day if I could. The fabric is well-worn, softer, the look more casual —but the emotional shift they evoke runs deeper. As a nurse leader, what I wear doesn’t just affect how I’m seen—it affects how I feel, how I lead, and how I connect with my team.
When I’m in scrubs, I feel closer to the heart of nursing. I’m physically present in a way that communicates, I am one of you. And in many ways, I am. I’ve held patients’ hands during deliveries, watched their strips, managed their pain, and held a patient after they lost their baby. I have navigated the same heartbreaks and triumphs as my nursing team. Scrubs connect me to that part of myself – the clinician, the bedside nurse, the comrade. Walking into the hospital that night, I felt like a young nurse again walking into a night shift: ready for action, ready to be part of the team, ready to listen and support.
But I am also something different now. I am a leader.
Leadership, I’ve learned, is filled with possibilities: you can inspire, guide, advocate, and transform. But it’s lonely sometimes too. There’s a line —a subtle one—between being with the team and being responsible for the team. In professional attire, I carry authority. I walk into meetings, strategy sessions, and tough conversations with the visual cues that say, I am accountable. I am a team player who is also a decision-maker. And while that distinction matters in certain spaces, it can also create distance. Staff may hesitate to open up to me or may not see me as someone who understands what their day-to-day feels like.
In scrubs, the divide lessens. Barriers come down. Conversations happen more naturally. I can be present in a different way—more human, more approachable. But there’s also a risk: the lines of leadership can blur. Expectations can shift. The emotional weight of “being one of us” and “being the boss” can collide, sometimes uncomfortably.
And yet, this tension is where leadership lives. It lives in the “and”—not the “or.” I am one of them and I am not. I try every day to build bridges between clinical reality and organizational vision. Some days I am good at it and other days I feel like I still have a lot to learn. Don’t we all? No one, not even our c-suite, has all the answers.
It’s not always easy to live in this in-between space. But it’s where the magic happens. It’s where trust is built. It’s where transformation begins.
So, I honor the days I wear scrubs, just as I honor the days I wear my shiny shoes (I am not a heels kind of person) and a blazer. Both uniforms carry weight. Both tell a story. And both remind me of the responsibility I carry—not just to lead, but to belong, to bear witness, and to never lose sight of the mission that brought me here in the first place.
Upcoming Synova education opportunities that Bobbie is leading or co-presenting:
- Attend the It Doesn’t Have to Hurt: Developing Skills in Finance and Leadership Development for Operational and Strategic Success pre-conference session at the 2025 AWHONN Convention where Bobbie will be a co-presenter.
- Attend the From Eye Rolls to Excellence: The New Rules of Leading with Respect pre-conference session at the 2025 Perinatal Leadership Forum, where Bobbie will be a co-presenter with Shawana Burnette, DNP, RNC-OB, NEA-BC, CLNC, FAWHONN.
- Become an Advanced Nurse Leader Certification learner, where Bobbie serves as the faculty member for the Operations pillar.
